A few days ago, I held my first virtual office hours calls. (If you didn't get a chance to listen in live, you can sign-up for the replay here.) I wanted to share one of the questions I received with you. It was an excellent in that it really showcased doubt and negative thinking when it comes to setting/achieving goals. What I hope you take away from this exchange is how to manage your thoughts about what it means to fail.

 

Hi Dawn,

 I have a question about goals. I started a new business and have given myself a deadline to leave my job and start working for myself full-time. What if I don’t meet it? What do I do? How am I going to handle that? And I don’t want to think about not meeting my goal because it feels like I’m accepting failure.

That’s a great question. So, here’s where I would start with that. I would offer that you really take a look at and reconsider what failure means to you. What I mean by that is, failure is feedback. It’s an opportunity to try again and tweak your process a bit. It just means that what you tried didn’t work and so you have to try something else. What it’s not, is a final verdict on your aptitude as an entrepreneur. You get the chance to figure out a different route. And if that doesn’t work, you try something else. You asked, what should you do? Don’t quit…in my opinion, quitting is the real failure.

My thoughts on goals are that @@we should focus more on the process or the journey of the goal vs attaining the actual goal.@@ That doesn’t mean don’t be invested in your goal or desired outcome but have an understanding that there is more to it than that. Because it’s about who we become along the way. Right? So that looks like, getting up a couple of hours earlier than you normally would so before you go to your day job you can work on your business. It means coming home after work and putting in a couple of more hours. It’s building your work ethic. It’s learning how to network and reaching out to people from a genuine place. It may look like taking a public speaking class or signing up with a sales coach. The end result of those efforts and that energy changes who you are and how you show up in the world. That’s what I think goals are all about. Who you become, how you evolve as a person.

I would ask you: What are your thoughts about not being able to leave your job by the deadline you’ve given yourself? I would be interested in knowing what you think that means about you and how you feel about that? Because that’s the thought work you would need to begin with. @@Our thoughts directly influence our feelings and our feelings influence the actions we take.@@ If you’ve shared your timeline with anyone, are you worried about how they are going to view your not meeting your goal? And if so, why? Because you know you can’t control what other people think, you can only control your thoughts. So, I would start there. What am I thinking? And why am I thinking this way? And how does my thinking influence the actions I take on a daily basis.

I would definitely take a look at your thoughts and really get into the what and the why of them. Once you do that, it will change your perspective on how you approach your deadline. So…I hope that helps!

Love + Light,

Dawn


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@@Our thoughts directly influence our feelings and our feelings influence the actions we take.@@

@@We should focus more on the process or the journey of the goal vs attaining the actual goal.@@

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